I was 19 when I came out as trans. Like many others, I invested in a packer with the hope of reducing dysphoria. Within the first few days of wearing my first packer, however, I learned that it had some major pitfalls.
Time during college classes now consisted of packer panic. I was keenly aware of the packer's frequent shifting and, when class was dismissed, was afraid to stand up from my seat for fear of its shifted position. Although I took small steps when walking, I was powerless against the stairs; by the time I reached the top, the packer would have flipped upside down. One time I was late for class and ran across the quad, only for the packer to slide down my pants and onto the ground!
Each day I grew more frustrated. I thought packing would improve my life, but it had instead added a layer of unease. The realistic appearance, aside from the worry of others noticing it, would sometimes even increase my dysphoria!
But this was to be expected of packing...right?
No!
After months of struggling with various packers, harnesses, and other accessories, I realized there were some fundamental flaws that needed changing.
The problem with traditional packers
1. The shape of traditional packers makes them by design incapable of staying in place
Think about it - the typical anatomical packer has two perpendicular extended portions which move constantly at the will of your legs, pants, underwear and any other external movements. With these rogue appendages being repeatedly pushed around, how can we ever expect it to stay in place? They are also rather heavy, with some packers weighing pounds. This is a huge prerequisite to misalignment.
2. Current methods of retaining traditional packers in place often involve buying additional products
Harnesses, glue, and specialty underwear. Some work better than others, but they all include spending extra money in addition to the cost of the packer itself. And who wants to be chaffed by a sweaty harness all day anyway?
3. Traditional packers are realism-focused and only come in skin tones
In the case of someone accidentally coming across it, a realistic packer is going to create a lot of questions. For some, this situation is potentially dangerous. And some people feel uncomfortable with hyper-realism, or feel it doesn't accurately align with their identity, regardless of how they identify (be they transmasculine, nonbinary, agender, gender queer, gender expansive, or any other identity). Of course, sometimes we just want to wear something fun. I want a packer that doubles as a stress-ball. I don't think this is too much to ask for.
4. Many are not ergonomic—and are therefore uncomfortable
If you haven't already noticed, many of the "backsides" of traditional packers are flat with blunt edges, or sometimes hollow and rounded. While the rounded ones are more ergonomic, their cupped shape traps heat moisture, making things feel uncomfortable rather quickly during warm weather or exercise. The flat edges, in comparison, can sometimes feel like you're wearing a pocket dictionary against your pubic bone. The silicone material can also sometimes catch surrounding body hair and pull on it. So all in all, not the most comfortable.
5. Higher quality in realism means paying more
Some of us need to stretch our dollars as far as they can go. Having the highest-quality option at a very high price (even if labor, materials, and additional costs may require it) nevertheless excludes a great portion of people.
These reasons are why I took it upon myself to start from scratch. I designed and prototyped the first Bulgie in my dorm room, and after years of refinement and a successful Kickstarter campaign, it is ready to share with the rest of the trans community. I hope you all find it as helpful as I do.
-Cole, he/they; ALLbulgies Founder